Symbolic Gesture

It is not easy for me to kiss a small cross
held in a young priest's hand,
though I deal in symbols,
use words to hide my heart's pain,
and know
as I move along the aisle
that this small cross held in a young priest's hand
is symbolic of Your suffering
and my kiss
I guess (for how can I know)
will symbolize my share in Your life's pain.

And so,
I kiss a metal cross
and then a linen napkin wipes away some germs I left
as I turn to think about that cross that Friday.

I could not have kissed it then,
with Your blood coagulating here,
                      running slowly there,
Your breathing throbbing in my ears
as Mary's breathing seemed to stop;
I could not have kissed it then
amid the dust, the clouds, the crowds.

Oh! I might have reached to touch Your feet,
that I might have done;
I might have traced the veins,
touched a callused toe,
stared dry-eyed at the tortured spike,
that I might have done.

I would have prayed, rabbini,
that Your pain would cease;
I would have prayed, rabbini,
to hear Your, "It is done."

It is not easy for me to kiss a small cross
held in a young priest's hand on Good Friday;
such a small antiseptic touching
cannot measure my part in Your life's pain.

Merritt      1

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